My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
