nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I yelled at your uterus for you.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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