I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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