i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
