So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
