i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
