O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
