How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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