Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
