He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
