well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
