perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
