OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
