i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
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