he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
