pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
