big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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