; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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