I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize
