i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Randomize