i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Randomize
