I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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