Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
