well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
