Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
