Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
