my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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