I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
i came on her dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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