I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Is it because I queefed?
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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