Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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