I must be too annoying 4 u.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
