This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
