I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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