I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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