it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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