i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
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