my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I have aggressive nipples.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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