Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
