Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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