worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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