kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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