I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Randomize
