i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
