I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I'm sobbing to NWA
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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