he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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