Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
