His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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