If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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