I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Randomize
