You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Randomize
