Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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