PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
