is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
