People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
