i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
