i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Randomize
