Are we in a gay sports bar?
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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