Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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