You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
