Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
not ubering you a puppy
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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