Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Randomize
