Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
