My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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