good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
