i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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