Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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