How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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