And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
