I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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